Coaching and Mentoring — is there a difference?
In simple terms, coaching is an equal relationship, a partnership if you will, whilst mentoring can be characterised as hierarchical.
Since becoming a Leadership Coach, I have become more attuned to hearing how some of my friends and colleagues use the terms mentoring and coaching interchangeably.
Those discussions have revolved around the possibility of some individuals considering seeking out a person to learn from or confide in particularly due to what they are experiencing at work and where they are at in their careers.
Mentoring and coaching are in fact two different concepts, with different likely outcomes and different power balances inside the relationship.
And, before we go on, I wish to assure you that both mentoring and coaching are incredibly valuable and I am certainly not looking to play one off the other. I thought that it would be useful for you to understand what distinguishes each.
Let's look at coaching first:
Empowering: An individual is empowered to self-reflect, find solutions within themselves to overcome a specific problem or achieve a desired goal
You are the expert: The whole process of coaching actively recognises that the coachee is the expert in their own life and they have the ability to adjust and change their behaviours and performance, shifting their trajectory to a more fulfilled and rewarding life
You take responsibility: The person seeking the coaching takes responsibility for agree actions - actions that will create change and move the person's life in a positive direction
Grow self-awareness and self-development: The coach will ask questions of the coachee, prompting the individual to consider new perspectives, gain new insights. This can have a powerful impact on the way the person sees themselves and the world they are operating in.
Now, let's look at mentoring:
Greater vs less experience: A dialogue occurs between two individuals where normally one individual is considered to have greater experience and wisdom. This individual is willing to impart their insights and advice to the person with lesser experience
The mentor is considered the expert: The relationship tends to place greater weight on the insights of the more experienced person in the relationship and will offer suggestions and solutions to the mentee's problem or goal.
The mentor may use their influence to further the mentee's career: A mentor may use their position of seniority or influence to support the mentee's professional development and promotion. In this instance the mentor is taking action on behalf of the mentee.
"Here are my binoculars": The mentor will share their own experiences, the way they view the world whilst not potentially fully considering the relevance or value to the mentee.
There is enormous value in having a coach and / or a mentor in your life at varying points throughout your career and life stages. What should be applauded is the beauty of an individual considering seeking these interactions, you are recognising you have more to learn and are open and willing to consider new information.
The above points are provided to help weigh up the benefits of confiding in a trusted ally and pausing to recognise what you will likely get out of engaging with a coach as compared to a mentor.
From personal experience I am indebted to the mentors I have had through my career. I can also attest to how rewarding engaging a coach can be if you are looking for a sounding board, someone to test the assumptions you have about yourself, what you think you are and are not capable of, partnering with you and helping you realise you have the resources from within to make the changes required to live a more fulfilling life – having a confidante alongside may just be the nudge you need.
What I will stress is that it does not need to be an either / or situation. There are no rules at all around having a coach and a mentor in similar timeframes – just being aware of what you will get out of each relationship is the important thing.
